Carrying More Than We Were Ever Meant to Hold

There’s a particular exhaustion that sets in when you care deeply. It doesn’t come from the body, not entirely. It sits somewhere between the chest and the gut...tight, tender, and persistent. It’s what happens when the soul tries to respond to every alarm bell the world rings, and these days, the bells are constant.

We live in a time where our awareness extends far beyond our physical surroundings. Social media, initially a tool of connection and discovery, has evolved into a steady stream of updates...each tugging at our conscience, each calling for a response. It’s both a blessing and a burden. This kind of exposure makes the world feel close, but it also convinces us that we’re responsible for carrying more than we were ever meant to hold. We begin to compare our lives with the snapshots of others. We grieve what we can’t reach. We respond until we’re numb.

This is where the fatigue sets in. Not just the kind that asks for a nap, but the kind that makes you question your usefulness. The kind that leaves you staring at a screen, unsure which crisis to respond to first. Psychologists call it compassion fatigue. It’s what happens when our empathy, stretched across too many tragedies, begins to thin out. A 2022 study published in JMIR Mental Health found that excessive social media use, especially when it exposes users to distressing content, was significantly associated with higher levels of depression and anxiety among adults aged 18 to 65. Another study from the Journal of Affective Disorders highlighted that individuals with high social comparison orientation are more likely to experience depressive symptoms after scrolling through social feeds.

So what do we do, as conscious leaders, as people of faith, as those who feel for a living?

We resist the narrative that says we must have a statement for everything. We reject the lie that productivity equals our worth. We remind ourselves that even the most impactful leaders in the world took time to retreat, to meditate, to pray, to rest.

The goal is not to stop caring. The goal is to care well and to sustain.

Let me say this clearly: you don’t have to carry every burden to show you care. You don’t have to respond to every need to be deeply committed to change. Sometimes the most responsible choice is to pause. And sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is acknowledge our limits and step back...not out of indifference, but out of intention and clarity.

Here are a few ways we can take the weight off our shoulders:

1. Choose your lane of impact. You are not called to everything. Ask yourself: Where does my heart break the most? Start there and trust that others are doing the work in other lanes.

2. Establish sacred boundaries with social media. Consider setting daily limits or scheduling digital sabbaths. Not everything needs your attention at 2 a.m.

3. Celebrate joy without guilt. Joy is not betrayal. Your laughter does not diminish someone else’s pain—it may, in fact, be the reminder that hope still lives.

4. Let presence replace performance. Being present with the people around you, your family, your coworkers, your community, is an act of resistance in a world that demands performative empathy.

5. Talk to someone. If you’re feeling emotionally or spiritually depleted, don’t white-knuckle it. Therapists, spiritual directors, and trusted friends are gifts in this world...not last resorts.

We are not saviors. We are sojourners, each carrying our part of the work. We are not built to carry the world alone. But we are invited to carry each other, gently and with grace.

Reflection Question: Where have you confused being constantly available with being truly effective or present?

Action Item: This week, unfollow or mute five accounts that trigger emotional fatigue. Then, follow five accounts that ground you in joy, laughter, or peace.

Sources:

• Brailovskaia, J., Margraf, J., et al. (2022). Social media use and its impact on mental health during the pandemic. JMIR Mental Health.

• Burnell, K., George, M.J., et al. (2021). Social comparisons on social media: Links to depression and anxiety. Journal of Affective Disorders.